Karen Aberle’s Invisible Dance of Love

Karen Aberle, author of #1 Amazon bestseller Love’s Invisible Dance, has spent the last 30 years researching and teaching about relationship. The dance became visible to Karen through her extensive studies in the philosophy of language, an 18-year apprenticeship with Huichol shamans of central Mexico, and her own 30-year marriage. Through her leadership program, Mindful Collaboration, Karen has coached individuals and teams in Fortune 100 organizations to achieve extraordinary results by better understanding how to learn, love, partner, and fight -- the same skills she and her husband have taught around the globe in their Deep Relationship programs for individuals and couples seeking more love in their lives. A native New Yorker, Karen now lives in Dallas, close to the embrace of her children and grandchildren.

Here are some of the big topics we talked about…

  • Relationship discourse is traditionally invisible in our culture - not taught in schools

  • Energy of attractiveness can be created in our speaking

  • Why taking a beginner’s mind to relationships is key

  • The need to look as though “you know,” blocks opportunity for learning

  • How “not wanting to make mistakes” factors with courage in all kinds of relationships

  • Intimacy: allowing a slow unfolding of our authentic selves

  • Honoring the choices of the other; honoring oneself

In Karen’s Voice

“There are universal laws about relationship - one of them is that it happens in language; another is that we’re constantly being drawn towards and repelled from other people.”
“We need to learn how to make requests and assessments effectively. Assessments are always an opinion. We have to be able to listen and understand other’s intentions. We begin to look much more deeply under the surface of the words.”
“In my view you’re never more attractive than when you’re open, operating in a mood of wonder, you have generosity, you show up as grateful, and you are interested.”
“As human beings we are constantly growing, constantly in a space of learning.”
“Another law of relationship is that we are here to learn. There is a way to increase the speed and effectiveness of learning.”

“Intimacy is the willingness to be mutually, deeply known. Do you want to be loved for who you truly are, or do you want to be loved for who you pretend to be?”
“If we don’t give ourselves permission to be learners, it’s going to be impossible to be intimate with someone else.”
“We declare to each other, ‘Your concerns are my concerns.’ This is the foundation for partnership.”

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